he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
