It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
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My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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