I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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