Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
