quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
