Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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