people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
