First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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