It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
