it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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