You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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