We're facebook friends in real life
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
