If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
