So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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