Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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