I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
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I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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