how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
