Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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