your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I wish there were birth control emojis
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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