so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
