Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
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Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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