If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
