Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
did you just send me my own nude
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