I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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