Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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