Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
