the new term for farting is butt boxing.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
