Umm I'm too high to move.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
