I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
