I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Sober January is a disaster.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
