Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
