There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
