I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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