we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
