Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just want nice things and good sex
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
