tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.