belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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