He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work