May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.