Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.