Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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