Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
