She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...