Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507):Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher http://tfl.nu/a6cj
  Replies (32) Good night (783) Bad night (2391)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry. http://tfl.nu/0tqt
  Replies (11) Good night (632) Bad night (3001)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day http://tfl.nu/bsdz
  Replies (6) Good night (5171) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love. http://tfl.nu/j8m9
  Replies (29) Good night (9654) Bad night (1479)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers? http://tfl.nu/jybn
  Replies (10) Good night (1877) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (419): Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this... http://tfl.nu/jh8c
  Replies (19) Good night (1894) Bad night (2990)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.

  (804): View more from Virginia

  It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin. (804): It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals. http://tfl.nu/mo3g
  Replies (9) Good night (2189) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/4j6y
  Replies (17) Good night (1397) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy http://tfl.nu/feuw
  Replies (14) Good night (1950) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/cuh5
  Replies (3) Good night (1332) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open. http://tfl.nu/s990
  Replies (8) Good night (1940) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year http://tfl.nu/tm45
  Replies (10) Good night (1461) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fluu
  Replies (24) Good night (490) Bad night (3954)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never. http://tfl.nu/8ha6
  Replies (7) Good night (328) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (240)

Randomize