Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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