sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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