More tranny stories later!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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