I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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