So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
