Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
