we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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