You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
