I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize