dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
