Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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