Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Everything about him screamed your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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