why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
