You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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