so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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