Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize