this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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