all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
