when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?