I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
