As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
