Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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