Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
