So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
