I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
