My hair reeks of homosexuality.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
