did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
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He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
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You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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