Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
