Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
