dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
